Daddy Ideas
Intruding on a family weekend with Senator Francis “Kiko” Pangilinan and daughters, Frankie and Miel.
Image from Kiko Pangilinan FB page
He's been touted as the Independent, but it seems that the more appropriate moniker should be the Idealist, one who dreams big and speaks of principles and integrity.
That said, there is the slightest bit of apprehension about meeting the Senator, the type that fleetingly crosses the mind when meeting with someone who's been deeply engrossed and entrenched in politics. No matter how well-spoken, well-behaved, and well-put together — or perhaps, it is because of all those — some misgivings have a way of sneaking in.
When you're in the public eye for another reason as well, the reason being your marriage to an extremely famous and beloved showbiz personality, the one and only Megastar, then the situation can become even trickier. It can't be helped; sometimes, the line between being an Honorable Senator and Mr. Sharon Cuneta can become fuzzy to many.
But what happens when you strip Francis Pangilinan of titles and prying eyes, and enter the world of daddy-daughter days? First, we must strip ourselves of the expectations, too.
It is not difficult to suspend any preconceived notions — Kiko Pangilinan revels in his role as a father. Here is a man, it seems, that wants to have it all: a successful career in one of the most complex fields and the complete experience of parenthood and family life.
He, however, is quick to admit, "We'd like to think that we're in charge, but in reality, it's a one-way street. We find ourselves really making the adjustments because of our children."
We intrude on a Saturday morning, in their home just outside the city, where the family settles down during the summer months. Here, the family enjoys an idyllic countryside life: picking mangoes, taking walks, fishing at the lagoon.
In the open-air foyer, Miel, now 4 years old, brings out her drawing tablet. Frankie, 8½, gives a longing look at the karaoke mic, professing a love, for now, of just one favorite song, but also "too many!" Outside, she shows off the bikes just beside the front door, as if they are ready to be used anytime. "Frankie just learned to bike last year," Senator Kiko tells us, "She learned here."
Activity is given a premium at home, though not forced on the children.
"We swim (almost) every day," the Senator shares. The little girls have been taking swimming lessons for the past three years every summer to help their asthma. It is an activity that everyone loves.
"I have waterproof eyes!" announces Miel, as she plays in the pool. Frankie proudly proclaims that she can touch the floor of the pool. "Really?" her father asks, astounded. "Yes!" she asserts.
In the pool, the threesome exhibits a love for the water which serves as the perfect foil for total abandonment for fun and playful antics. The girls hang on their dad, as if he's the best climbing frame built — on water, anyway.
But it's not all rough play between father and daughters.
Senator Kiko wistfully shares how, just the other day, Miel had her swim time with her dad — alone, that particular time — to say "'Dad, I love you four or five times.' Walang kapalit yon," he declares. "There is no price tag."
Admitting to be less demonstrative, the Senator also divulges how he enjoys being in a house filled with girls. "There's more emotion, there's more lambing, there's more expression, by and large, the girls are more expressive than boys. And I'm not very malambing. So for me, that's good!"
But he more than makes up for this with his own brand of daddy-daughter dynamics. Whether it's going out on individual daddy dates (during which Frankie would gladly discuss school and later ask, "What law did you make today?"), or taking them to the office (where Miel had baptized the Senate Session Hall as the "Talking Room"), Senator Kiko works to make time for his girls.
"It's what I am, I guess," he muses about being a hands-on dad. And his little ones should know — Daddy has been through this before.
The daddy dates, in fact, began with KC, and even as she now leads her own life, they find some alone time to catch up — KC getting the inevitable man's point of view on many matters, including the topic of boys.
"Even before the two chikitings came along, I was already Dad to KC. Some were saying, how does it feel to have an instant family? And I said, it was perfect for me. I love kids and (Sharon and I both place) a premium on family and married life."
This focus is what gives the Senator a chance to succeed in getting close to that ideal kind of life. With a staff trained to time his schedule around his priorities ("No more than three consecutive nights out"), to a calm and deliberate understanding of how his work and family relate with each other ("Fatherhood has given me firmer grasp and a firmer understanding of what I ought to do as a public official. It is more real… I don't want to leave the country in the same state it is today, and turn it over to them and have them inherit the mess. If I can do something about it, I will try to do what I can."), Kiko Pangilinan is able to assume his roles in stride.
Every morning, he takes the newspapers to Miel's room and spends time with her before she goes off to preschool. While updating himself on current affairs, he keeps posted on the homefront too: taking the time to pretend-play "sari-sari store" or "jeepney" or as a dad of six stuffed animals. It's almost like he has a cheat sheet. He even gets to teach and play at the same time. The Tagalog scenarios teach the girls their national language while assuming the role of Frederick-the-student lets him quiz Teacher Frankie when it's time for periodical exams.
Miel is taking part in the play tradition, now that she's at a better age to participate. But he also knows that it's one thing to give the girls the same experiences and treatment, and it’s another thing to realize that they are different, separate persons, certainly different from himself.
Frankie, fondly called "Kiklet" by a Tito, that is, a "little Kiko" is exhibiting her own personality traits. "She's more gregarious, more biba than me. Hindi siya mahiyaain. Sanay sa maraming tao. And very friendly. Miel is iba. She's more reserved, more cautious, she's mahiyain. She's not comfortable around lots of people. She does not like her picture to be taken, especially by strangers."
He enumerates their differences like a proud father taking notes of strengths. "They're both malambing, but tumaas lang ang boses mo, si Miel tutulo na ang luha. Frankie is tougher on the outside — keeps her feelings to herself."
He adds, "I love every moment in terms of interacting with my kids, something you know will never happen again. Si Frankie nga is 8 and a half. So when I started dating Sharon, KC was only 9. Now she's 24! Sometimes I think she's 12, so I have to remind myself (that she isn't). Are we saying here, before I know it, Miel and Frankie will be 24? Every moment matters. I'm not going to allow the time to be wasted. Not any moment."
As the family takes the time for a few shots, we see a picture of a beautiful, dignified family. The girls easily take their place, smile their best toothy grins, and perform for the camera like they've done it a million times. The exercise is something they have learned to take seriously — trained, assumedly, from being exposed to both parents' trades. That is, until Frankie exclaims, "Now, let's do wacky!" and the trio instantly creates goofy poses as if it were the most natural thing in the world.